As we approach 2010 I’ve thought in depth about the fact that this will not only be a new year, but an entirely new decade. The last decade has been the worst in my life. However, when I really thought about specific moments and times in the last decade I also came to realize that it’s also been my best. I began to reminisce on those intense moments in the last decade both good and bad. So I look back for a moment on the decade of 2000. In 2001 I married the man that I had loved half my life. In 2003 I looked in to the eyes of my first born child Aiden Derae and never knew that I could possibly love anyone at that moment the way I loved him. In late 2005 I lost my grandmother; one of the most amazing women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and even more being her granddaughter (Ruth V Dodson) you remain in my heart forever. In December 2005 I admitted that the man I loved had been unfaithful our entire relationship and was separated and later divorced, something I never thought would happen to me. In February 2006 I was given my second miracle from God Anica Destiny and who knew I could love another person just as much as I loved my son. That same year I lost my grandfather Charles Gallihugh I love you more than pigs love slop he use to say (smiling) you are remembered always! In early 2009 my daughter had pneumonia and at one point they said there is nothing else we can do, but I knew I could pray. Becoming a single mother was one of my most devastating challenges. I lost great friends who betrayed me and I felt very alone for a very long time. I felt as if no one understood and I still think most people don’t unless they walk where I have walked. In losing friends I also gained friends ones who were true, who encouraged me, who cried with me and laughed with me and helped me to heal. In November of 2007 I rededicated my life to God and I’ve had hardships since then, but he’s taught me so much about me and others who I have the pleasure of them sharing their lives with me. He forced me to find out who I really was. And in looking back it’s been my greatest decision in this decade!!
God gave me direction when I was lost, he gave me encouragement when I was down, he gave me confidence when I wanted to give up, he showed me how to forgive when I thought that wasn’t an option. He gave me protection when I was in danger. He gave me strength when I was downright tired of fighting this life. He gave me vision when I couldn’t really see. He gave me peace in the midst of a lot of anger. He’s given me more than I could ever list in some post on this blog. Most importantly he gave me something that no one else could; he gave me life when I was dead. He truly made me a brand new person and I never want to go back to that old life. He gave his life so that I could be free and I am forever grateful.
So all that being said; this is “My decade 2010”. Every New Year brings great possibilities; chances for dreams to come true, for old friendships to be rekindled and new ones to take form, for parents to teach their children how to make the most of everyday. It’s time to forgive others, to let go of anger we’ve stored in our hearts. It’s a time to remember the legacy those who have gone before us have left behind. It’s a new year to find love, to love and be loved for all we hold inside. It’s finally that moment where you can be everything you were always meant to be. It’s a great chance to heal the wounds that time has pressed on us. Most of all it’s a time to surrender all to Jesus, to love him more than you ever have before, to let him take complete control of your life. It’s time to let him lead, guide, and direct us on the path laid before us and so much more. You will never regret living for Jesus. It’s a brand new year, a brand new decade, and a brand new start.
My wish for you in 2010 is that you all reach your full potential and that God truly blesses you beyond measure the way I know he truly can and does. May God go with you and yours into a new decade and may it be our best yet and thank you for all those angels I call friends that you sent me Lord, without them I’m not sure I’d be where I am today. I love each of you!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I Will Follow You
Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
Sometimes its so hard to pray
When you feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust you
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow you
I will swim in the deep
Cuz you'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You'll never be out of reach
God, you know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding your hand
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow you
God your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto you
God your love is enough
Parts of a song by Mikeschair
This song has played a million times in the last few weeks over and over again in my mind. I sing it through out the day. I've met those times when it feels like your entire world may collapse. My backs been against a wall and I've faltered and even fallen flat on my face. During some of those intense times of trial I wondered, "God do you hear me, are you listening; are you even there?" But each time I was in the eye of the storm he reminded me that he knew where I'd been, that he loved me even then, that he had been faithful to show up each time I needed him and always "on time". We forget sometimes that we have an "enemy" and he wants to pick us apart, it says Satan came to kill, steal, and destroy. He wants us to fail, to surrender, to give up; he wants to pull us to our knees. He wants to drive us so deep that we believe we will drown in that raging sea, but hear me child of a King, he's been faithful before and he WILL be faithful again. God will always be enough, he will always make a way; he will always go before you, he will always see you through this time of trial. And above all I pray whatever God's will for my life be "then let it be". We will be tested and tried, no doubt about that, but it's been said "if God be for us who can be against us". If we'd only get it deep down in our souls, if we'd only remember what God's always been, if we'd only remember where he brought us from, if we'd only give him all of us, and then fully trust and rely on God to handle every aspect of our lives. If we'd really believe that God ALWAYS comes through we will ENDURE.
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
Sometimes its so hard to pray
When you feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust you
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow you
I will swim in the deep
Cuz you'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You'll never be out of reach
God, you know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding your hand
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow you
God your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto you
God your love is enough
Parts of a song by Mikeschair
This song has played a million times in the last few weeks over and over again in my mind. I sing it through out the day. I've met those times when it feels like your entire world may collapse. My backs been against a wall and I've faltered and even fallen flat on my face. During some of those intense times of trial I wondered, "God do you hear me, are you listening; are you even there?" But each time I was in the eye of the storm he reminded me that he knew where I'd been, that he loved me even then, that he had been faithful to show up each time I needed him and always "on time". We forget sometimes that we have an "enemy" and he wants to pick us apart, it says Satan came to kill, steal, and destroy. He wants us to fail, to surrender, to give up; he wants to pull us to our knees. He wants to drive us so deep that we believe we will drown in that raging sea, but hear me child of a King, he's been faithful before and he WILL be faithful again. God will always be enough, he will always make a way; he will always go before you, he will always see you through this time of trial. And above all I pray whatever God's will for my life be "then let it be". We will be tested and tried, no doubt about that, but it's been said "if God be for us who can be against us". If we'd only get it deep down in our souls, if we'd only remember what God's always been, if we'd only remember where he brought us from, if we'd only give him all of us, and then fully trust and rely on God to handle every aspect of our lives. If we'd really believe that God ALWAYS comes through we will ENDURE.
And Remember
YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB ON THIS SINGLE PARENT JOURNEY
God Bless You!!
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